Meatopia 2011

"The Woodstock of all things edible"

Listen up all those interesting enough to not sell out and remain a carnivore, theres a festival in our honor.  It has been deemed Meatopia, and is underway for the second year in a row.  Featuring some of the most talented chefs in the country, as well as some of the finest organic and local farmers, this delicious gala will certainly draw an interesting crowd.  The tickets begin at $85, which allows the customer to enter into the venue (Brooklyn Bridge Park) at around 5:30 and dine endlessly. For the price of $135 one may enter at 5:30 with the benefits of all you can eat and all you can drink!  So be there on July 23rd to exercise your carnivorous right!

Not always writing, but still always eating!

So I haven't added anything new in a while, and the reason for this tragic work stoppage is of course the life of a line cook.  The 12 hour days leave me exhausted and uninterested in conveying my opinions to my fellow foodies.  But nonetheless I am here to get back on the horse.  With that I bring you a recent review of "The Gourmet Whaler", which is located right on 25-A in the quaint little town of Cold Spring Harbor.  This local eatery offers everything from decadent chocolate cake to homemade cheese spread, they offer a delicious quiche, as well as their famous fish tacos.  The cod is caught locally and served up fried with panko bread crumbs.  A chipotle mayo is spread atop this fishy fantasy, and the final touch of colorful coleslaw make this an absolute must eat.  I also tried the bacon quiche which was outstanding.

Any dining experience revolves around the food, but the atmosphere is sometimes just as important.  The gourmet whaler allows the customer to determine where they will sit, whether it be outside taking in the hampton-esque town of CSH or inside this warm and cozy joint.  The owners paraded food through the restaurant in such a gleeful manner that it was impossible not to be satisfied with the meal.

Friendliness and crunchy fish tacos make this place a definite must!

A Chow-Joint Review: Tango in Bryn Mawr, PA

Unable to join my family and mother on Mother’s day, my friends and I felt it only fitting that we fill the void left from this mother-less day with some delicious Mexican-American grub.  The restaurant was rather dark, except for the light directly above the tables, which created an extremely private illusion.  This spot would be excellent for most events, but is most suitable for a romantic meal with some hottie.  The restaurant offers an outdoor bar for happy hours including both drinks along with their delicious food.  That nonsense is all besides the point, I came here on mission: to fill my belly with mouth watering fare.  My disappointing friends ordered salads (maybe they were watching next top model before they left, aka their being little women).  I, attempting to increase the testosterone levels of our table, started off with the fried oysters.  These crispy fried treats rested atop a nacho chip and drizzled with a pepper aoli.  Biting into this crunchy snack, a myriad of flavors rushed through my mouth.  It was unbelievably savory, while the tomato,cilantro, onion salsa offered a more sweet sensation; perfectly balancing the meal. The fried oysters acted as a wonderful preview for what laid ahead. For dinner I ordered a filling southern dish that I knew would be a true representation of the establishments overall abilities  , Jambalaya.  This steaming plate of Andouille Sausage, Shrimp, Scallops, Chicken, Ham, Calamari, and Crawfish swam in a pool of spicy creole sauce.  The southern flavors of the creole sauce really brought the true taste of all the ingredients to life.  A Succulent shrimp was downed after a bite of smokey andouille sausage.  The combination couldn’t be beat.  I also had the luxury of tasting my buddies’ meals, although this did take a little convincing.  First was the blackened swordfish, which sat atop Chorizo mashed potatoes.  The moist fish prepared with rather hot spices, matched perfectly with the chorizo mashed potatoes.  Little chunks of crumbled Mexican sausage really satisfied my taste buds.  Also tasting the Filet Mignon and the Grilled Atlantic Salmon, I knew the chef had the creativity and talent to really succeed in the culinary war being waged in today’s society.  The tasty meal complimented by excellent service and a wonderful setting received my stamp of approval as well as launched Tango onto my list of “places to pig out”!

New York Yankees Concessions

Being a native New Yorker, I am extremely fond of our boys from the bronx, The New York Yankees.  Another part of being a New Yorker is being fond of another big apple staple, delicious food.  Kinda why I started this blog(duh).  In all seriousness I am a huge baseball fan, and find the food in most stadiums to be an interesting topic deserving of some exploration.  Its important that you don't hurt your finger tips, so let me do the research for you!  

So what I have found is that the concession service offered at Yankee Stadium is handled by a food and retail firm known as Legends Hospitality Management.  The firm was formed by Cowboy's owner Jerry Jones along with late Yankee's owner, George Steinbrenner.

Offering many of the traditional snacks at yankee stadium, has help legends hospitality management make a smooth transition into the new stadium.  Fan pleasers such as Bazzini Nuts, Carvel Ice Cream, Nathans Hot Dogs, and Carl's Steaks have stands throughout the new stadium.

With the addition of Moe's Southwest Grill, Brother Jimmy's BBQ, and Johnny Rockets, the new concession company has fans beyond pleased as they stuff their face with savory meals from all over the United States.  There are also a few new cuisines being offered at Yankee stadium, that may not be offered anywhere else.  Yes its true, there is Soy Kitchen Sushi and Salads stand.  Hot pressed cuban sandwhiches are being offered at the Latin corner, while the west coast favorite, Garlic Fries are being sold throughout the stadium.  A delicious spot in the stadium is the triple play grill, where both chicken and steak sliders are served up hot and ready. 

Now if your one of those people who wants to sit back have a beer and a hot dog, I obviously don't condemn you, in fact save me a damn seat.  It's a baseball game and thats where the focus should be, but is it terrible to be dining on a mouth-watering, mesquite smelling, barbecue dripping pulled pork sandwhich while watching A-rod smack one into the bleachers? No! Unless your the mets, who should probably start giving away free food as an incentive for fans to attend.  But thats another story for another day, actually no its not I will never again mention the terrible mets, I promise. 

Tom Haverford

What is 'Gangsta Bread' or 'Lil Suprises', they sound like song names for a perverted rapper, but instead they are the slang terms attributed to Pizza and Dumplings respectively.  Comedian Aziz Ansari stars as a character known as Tom Haveford on his NBC television show, Parks and Recreation.  Last Thursday, Haverford discussed the various slang names he gives food.  If thats not enough, theres even this little gem; A website dedicated to all foods defined by Haveford.  So sit back and enjoy some milk on the rocks (ice cream).

Eggnog Pie

An Italian Easter can be explained in one word : Pies.  I'm not talking about the typical pizza pie, I'm talking about pizza rustica (meat pie), spaghetti pie, grain pie, and whatever new additions to dessert our bellys desire.  So this year I let my creativity run wild and brought back the taste of another holiday favorite: eggnog.  I know I know,"oh thats a Christmas thing", well thanks for your expert opinion Kris Kringle. Food is food and I don't think it matters when you have dessert, pretty sure cake is saved for birthdays and if we could we'd eat it everyday, so don't be a buzz killington on this. 

Ingredients:

-- 32 Vanilla Wafers

-- 3 Bananas

-- 1 1/8 teaspoons Nutmeg

-- 2 cups of milk

-- 1 Small package of instant Vanilla Pudding

-- 1 package (8 oz.) of cream cheese

-- 1/2 teaspoon of Brandy extract

-- 1 cup of cool whip (pronounce the H and I guarantee heads will turn, see Family Guy for examples)

-- 1 Pie pan (about 9 inches in diameter, about 3 inches deep)

Preparation: 

-- Cover bottom and sides of pie pan with Vanilla Wafers

-- Slice two bananas, place the slices atop the wafers

-- Sprinkle 1 teaspoon of nutmeg on top of the bananas

-- In a separate bowl, mix brandy extract, milk, and cream cheese

-- Stir in the cool whip

-- Spoon the mixture on top of the Bananas

-- Sprinkle with remaining nutmeg

-- Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate

-- Before serving, slice the last banana and place atop the mixture

Okay, so there you have it.  This is a refreshing pie for any of those hot days.  I know what your thinking, how the hell can you call this eggnog pie without any eggnog, well ya know what Los Angeles doesn't have any lakes and the Lakers are there, I don't know if thats true, just eat the damn pie okay!  The ingredients give the allure of a tasty cup of eggnog.  So enjoy this fool proof recipe that will impress any group and have them thinking "damn you should be a professional chef like Rachel Ray" and then you can say "Rachel Ray is a sellout and I hope you never call me that again, jerk".  In all seriousness, this pie wowed people at the table yesterday and did not have to put all that much effort into it! Enjoy!

The Best Philly Cheesesteak

I'm here to put an end to this cheesesteak dispute that has created a surplus of foodie gangs, who remain loyal to their  purveyors of the conglomerate of steak, cheese, peppers, and onions that is a Philly Cheesesteak!  Enough is enough with giving praise to the typical joints, Pats, Genos, and recent new-comer to the world of carnivore tourism Tony Lukes.  Im proud to introduce a gritty, down to earth, and boisterous joint known by meat afficianados as the REAL king of steaks, Jim's Steaks.  This local hotspot has been dishin out delicious steaks for 70 years.  So when it comes down to crowning a steak king, certain measurements are discussed.  The first of which is the stear-cheese portioning.  Jims allows for maximum meat and pretty generous slab of cheese, which can be either provolone, mozz, american, or wiz.  The second criteria that a Cheesesteak is judged upon, is of course the bread! Now, for someone who comes from the mecca of all things bread, New York, I find all of these "hoagies" subpar.  Nothing out of the ordinary, but I do say the difference comes in the size.  These hoagies allow for a no-over-flow meal, which I am particularly fond of.  Jims offers a second version of the cheesesteak, the cheesesteak hoagie.  The cheesesteak hoagies is as follows : tomatos, lettuce, and mayo added to the cheese steak order.  Tomatos cause a sort of tatonic shift in the opposite sides of the bread, usually forcing one to retire from the meal, which is a bullshit thing to happen from a condiment, nonetheless the crime is committed on a daily basis.   The third and final criteria is of course the atmosphere.  When considering Jim's rivals, Pats & Genos, people usually lean towards the latter two places in terms of atmosphere, simply because of the fame!  How lame is fame! Jim's is indoor, unlike its competitors, therefore when you enter this temple of steak your nose is dominated by the smell of cheese, onions, and STEAK.  Its loud, its in your face, its a REAL philly cheesesteak.


Jims Steaks is located on 4 & South Street in Philadelphia.

Baked Eggs w/ Bacon and Provolone

Baked Egg w/ Bacon,onions, and provolone

Whether you are a parent struggling to make ends meet, a college student living off a beer and pot budget, or just simply someone who wants to save a buck and still eat well, I have an awesome way to start off your morning, or in the case of the college student, any part of your day, it doesn't matter, its friggin delicious.

Ingredients:
2 Tablespoons Butter
2 Large Onions
8 strips of Bacon
8 eggs
Salt and Pepper to taste

In a skillet, cook the onions in 1 tablespoon of butter until they are carmelized and soft. Heat should be at medium  This should take about 8-10 minutes.  It is vital to remember that the Bacon should take about the same time as the onions, therefore throw them both on separate skillets, at the same time. Heat should be on med-high Preheat the oven to 375. Grease four Ramekins with the remaining butter.  Crack 1-2 eggs in each ramekin, followed by the onions and bacon.  Cook in the oven for about 8 minutes with a cover.  Remove the cover and add the slice of provolone cheese.  Cook for 2 mins.  Let sit for 5 minutes. Enjoy!

If you don't know what a ramekin is its okay your not a neianderthol, but your also not very cultured...In any event its a small glazed serving bowl, that can be used for preperation as well. So, to conclude, don't maddoff your day, have a cheap breakfast!

Red Mango

For all of you who are a fan of this place I hope you understand that what I am about to say should not dissuade you from reading this blog, in fact it should inspire you. Inspire you to stand up against the disneyfication that is plaguing the culinary world.  I guess I should start with how my ten minute Red Mango experience inspired this hateful rant.  I walked into this overly illuminated soft serve shop, only to find the employees sitting on their ass, doing no more than breathing.  I was not greeted with a hello, how can I help you, or a simple welcome. Instead I was left to serve MYSELF and apply my own toppings. After overpaying, with my father's money of course, I began to recount my experience, only to find a multitude of things that I despised:
1. There were about 8 flavors. How can an establishment adequately serve the millions of different people with 8 fricken flavors.  In the world of sweets, less is never more, even in this hipster universe.
2. How is a completely self-serve place abiding food-safety laws. How many dirtbags touch those condiment toppings? How many sick people are like "hey I want red mango, lemme cough all over these munchins"? Nuff Said.
3. Whatever happened to the old-fashioned ice cream parlor, with ice cream cones and cheery employees? Do we really live in a world where the destination is more important than the ride? No, because than Cold Stone wouldn't be successful.
4. If I order key lime pie and rasberry cheesecake flavored soft-serve, I shouldnt be thinking about how many calories I am taking in, I should be thinking "Really? Fake key lime pie? lazy-ass!"  Therefore don't remind me that I am a fat ass with those nutritional facts, because after all I AM SUPPORTING YOUR JOKE OF A CAREER!

Considering this is the second post ever lemme help you out, this blog won't be a forum for all things south beach diet-y, instead it will be something that disregards these vegan/vegetarian/pescatarian/no-fun-atarian values.  Indulge in what taste, smells, and looks good, live the life of a food devil, breaking all culinary and nutritional rules.  There isn't a rule book telling you how to eat, there is only your belly saying "Yo,dude, stop eating this stupid soft serve and go to a god damn Ben and Jerry's with normal americans who work for a living"

Thanks Red Mango for ruining my night.

The Birth of Suds and Chow

My entire life I have been enamored by all things food.  Whether it be the aroma of a kitchen during the holiday season, or the rush of bustling restaurant, or the taste of the perfectly cooked steak, I have always been drawn to it.  On a trip to Argentina, I found my counterpart, someone who shared the equal love and interest in something like food. Except it wasn't food.  It was beer! Grandpa's ole cough medicine. My buddy discussed how the right beer could magically increase the quality of any meal.  He spoke with such passion, I knew he was the sud to my chow.  And thats how this intoxicating and fattening blog came to be.  We aren't interested in shedding pounds for you, or your typical light beer. We are interested in presenting the most savory and sinful grub and drink.  So sit back.  Unbuckle the belt. And welcome to the Suds and Chow's food and beer forum.